Ask Heather: Inviting coworkers

Inviting coworkers to a wedding

Image courtesy of Careerealism

Dear Heather,

I work in a small office. Do I have to invite my coworkers to my wedding?

Struggling over who gets an invitation

Dear Struggling,

You don’t have to invite anyone at all, but I’m guessing that’s not what you were asking.

My husband and I also struggled with which coworkers to invite. During our engagement, I worked in a fairly small research laboratory, and he worked in an office of approximately 50-60 people. Obviously, we couldn’t invite everyone, since that would have blown our budget. So, here’s what we did: We threw “Invitation Audition” parties. We had two parties, and invited my coworkers to the first and his close coworkers to the second. If someone couldn’t be bothered to attend a social engagement that wasn’t our wedding, then we didn’t see the point of inviting them to our wedding.

All of my coworkers attend “their” party, which constituted, with spouses and significant others, eleven people. All of them had a blast, so we invited all of them, and ten ended up coming to our wedding. I can’t recall how many of my husband’s coworkers attended “their” party, but we ended up inviting nine to our wedding, and five attended.

The biggest lesson we learned – unless you can foresee yourself hanging out with your coworkers for social, non-work-related reasons, I wouldn’t bother sending them an invitation. As for working in a small office – obviously, work dynamics come into play. Inviting only a select few can definitely get awkward, which is why we held our “auditions”. If that isn’t feasible for you and you legitimately cannot afford to invite everyone or simply do not want certain coworkers at your wedding, invite the ones you want and tell them to keep it hush-hush, since not everyone received an invitation. If anyone confronts you about your decision, (1) they’re rude and (2) simply say that your venue has space constraints and you couldn’t invite everyone you wanted. And just leave it at that.

Did you invite or are you inviting coworkers to your wedding? How did it turn out? Let me know in the comments below!

Categories: Ask Heather, Wedding

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