Ask Heather: Engagement party and shower guests

Engagement party guests

Image courtesy of How Stuff Works

Dear Heather,

Does everyone who is invited to our engagement party have to be invited to our wedding? What about the bridal shower?

Party Etiquette

Dear Etiquette,

If someone is invited to celebrate your engagement with you, that person should also be invited to celebrate your wedding with you. This obviously doesn’t guarantee they’ll be able to attend, but they should at least be invited. The only exception to this rule is if you’re keeping your wedding very small, but want to include more people in the engagement celebration. In this instance, however, make sure that those invited know that gifts are not expected and warn folks in advance that you’re keeping the wedding invitation list to immediate family only, lest anyone think they offended you at the engagement party and therefore were not invited to the wedding. In general, though, the engagement party guest list is smaller than that for the wedding, involving the bridal party, immediate family, and very close friends.

The etiquette for showers is a bit different. For the most part, anyone who receives a shower invite should also receive a wedding invitation, which is why it’s important to coordinate with whoever is hosting your shower. The main exception are showers held at workplaces. Since not everyone has the space or the budget to invite their coworkers but said coworkers often want to celebrate a person’s upcoming nuptials, it’s perfectly acceptable to have a work-based bridal shower but not have those folks also invited to the wedding.

Did you have a work-related bridal shower? Were you able to invite your coworkers to your wedding? Let me know in the comments below!

Categories: Ask Heather, Wedding, Wedding shower

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